By the time I climbed Devil’s Tower in my fifth decade, fifteen years ago, I had waited over 25 years to climb that monolith; ever since I saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It inspired me. And even today, when I look at photos of it, my heart lifts and my soul feels a passion and a light that is difficult to describe. This kind of inspiration is an important gift. It calls us to our fire. It asks us to pay attention to the meaning of our lives. It shouts to us to Wake Up! To Pay Attention. To become Alive again. To fall back in love with Life.
That Devil’s Tower trip and the subsequent climb to the top was a pivotal moment in my life. I completed the climb, but it was not the experience I had imagined. It was frick’in hard and I spent most of the time stressed out and struggling up the six 100-foot pitches while praying that my guide wouldn’t have to literally drag me by the rope up to the top. I made it, but not without a lot of wear and tear to my body. I carried bruises on my back, shoulders, hips, and knees for weeks. It was a metaphor for how I had been living my entire life; white knuckling it as I reached goal after goal and seldom enjoying it. Along the way, as an overachiever, I never wondered whether or not there was another way to go through life. I quit climbing after that. I decided it was too hard and I was too old. I was fifty-six.
What I’ve learned, in the subsequent years since is that having a Dream alone is not enough. Inspiration is not enough. Realizing your Dream comes from work, not simply wishing it into reality. You have to do what you need to do and you need to start now. No one is born fully developed. We have innate talents and gifts. But those talents need to be nurtured and grown. You have to become comfortable with discomfort; with testing, failure, and repetition. Growth and success come in stages; step by step, and you have to be willing to keep moving forward.
Last year, as I approached my seventieth birthday, I began to feel again that passion for climbing. I envisioned myself climbing this gorgeous rock face I had climbed when I was twenty-five years old. It came into my mind at odd hours during the day. I dreamed of it at night. I saw myself dancing up the rock gracefully, smoothly, effortlessly, and joyfully. I could taste the experience, my desire for it was so strong. This time, I prepared. I began weight training four times a week and built the muscle strength and stamina I needed to scale a 400-foot vertical rock climb.
I never told friends I was going to the gym to “work out”. Instead, I told them I was “training” to climb. Their reactions were varied and interesting. Some were incredulous I was even considering such an endeavor. Others couldn’t quite grasp the concept of rock climbing in general and were concerned for my physical safety. Still, others thought I was a bit crazy attempting such a thing “at my age”. I had very little enthusiastic support. It was just not within their “imagination”.
But one thing, I know for sure. If you put too much importance on how you look to others and are concerned about failing in your attempt to fulfill your dreams, you will lose your creative fire. And who are these people, really? Can someone else really “see” your fire? Your neighbors? Someone you talk to at a party in the dim light of their own limited realities? Even most of our family and friends have limited ability to understand you and your dreams. We give others’ perceptions and beliefs too much power. It would be best if we traveled onward from them without looking for their validation. They aren’t part of your vision and don’t need to be. Who really knows you and what you can envision and manifest for yourself, but you? Hold onto that power for yourself. The dominant culture tends to have a huge influence on us. We are taught every step of our lives what “normal” behavior looks like. Our psyches fall asleep as we become “productive” members of society by performing the tasks laid out for us by our culture. But normalcy is the enemy of your creative fire and inspiration.
After training to climb for the better part of this last year, I attempted my first serious climb on Looking Glass, North Carolina. I surprised myself when I moved up the rock with less effort and more grace than I had in my twenties. The experience boosted my confidence. I kept training and planning for more ambitious climbs a few months later. After yet another trip, this time, to Red Rock Canyon, outside of Vegas, I realized I had hit my stride. All the effort and time in training and preparation for the climbs paid off. The experience was what can only be described as glorious and I was joyful as I relished every step as I moved up the rock face. And I thought to myself, “This is how I want to move through the rest of my life; with less effort, more flow, more fire, more courage, and more joy”. This whole experience was the ultimate metaphor for me. The message is clear. Commit to doing the work required to live a full vibrant life, for the rest of my life.
When I returned home, I was hoping to find others my age who shared this newly resurrected passion of mine. I discovered a Facebook group for climbers 50 years old and older. I joined and it opened my eyes to a whole new community of people who I had no idea existed. In the process, my vision of my future of what is possible for me to achieve at this stage of life has expanded; actually, it has exploded. I met people from all over the world who were older than me, doing much harder and more challenging climbs than I. They are an inspiration to me and motivate me to keep going forward. One woman, in particular, has challenged me to push the limits of my current climbing ability. Her name is Carol Simpson. Ten years older than me, she is leading rock climbs at least two levels above me. I am so excited to know her and have her as a role model. I told her that I wanted to adopt her the big sister I never had. She has agreed.
A recent podcast interview with her.
We need more role models like her. At almost 80 years old, she has no intention of slowing down and told me recently she is excited about what her 80th decade will bring. Her ending comment to me during our last conversation was, “As we get older, especially as women, we have no idea how powerful we are”. I’m finding a lot of truth and wisdom in that message.