How often have you heard someone say they are preparing for a “comfortable retirement”? Or for that matter, how many of us measure success or having an enjoyable lifestyle by how “comfortable” we are? But is “comfort” really a wise goal? What are the pros and cons of a “comfortable” lifestyle?
Ever since I can remember, I have had to take a “time out” from what most people would call a “normal” life. (Sometimes I think we have normalized the abnormal, thinking the abnormal is truly normal.) In my twenties and thirties, I led outdoor adventure courses for weeks at a time. My daily routine on courses might mean sleeping with my boots and water bottle so they wouldn’t freeze overnight during winter months, swatting mosquitoes at dusk on humid sweaty nights, gazing at a campfire which provided entertainment as a “wilderness TV, waking up just before dawn to the sound of the first birds’ songs, sleeping beside several snoring and or restless bodies, and paying attention to the sky, wind and temperature to inform me about what the weather might be that day. Days were spent hiking from point A to point B while carrying a backpack weighing half my body weight and carrying all I needed to live, survive, and ensure the safety of a group of ten people. You would think I would be relieved to finish twenty or forty consecutive days of these experiences, and I was indeed happy for a break. A hot shower (better than sex) and a cozy bed were welcome extravagances but after a few days, a kind of low-grade depression set in my soul, that I could never explain. And a couple of weeks later, I was looking forward to my next wilderness assignment.
When I took leave as an outdoor instructor to go to graduate school, I had difficulty adapting to living in an apartment and a life that consisted of classrooms, books, and the isolation that came with not living, working, and surviving in a close community with other people. Having read numerous accounts of the lives of Indian captives and the difficulties they encountered after returning and trying to reintegrate into “white” culture, I’ve often wondered if I hadn’t been experiencing some of those same dynamics. It’s impossible to cleanse the “wild” out of you once you experience it and it’s now forever in your bones. It’s no wonder some of those Indian captives voluntarily left the “comforts” of white society and returned to the homes of their adopted Indian communities. There’s a deadening that comes with comfort.
Even after settling into a “normal” career as a corporate consultant a few years later, I would periodically disappear. Sometimes that meant a sojourn into the Grand Canyon to spend several days and nights alone in a cave. Other times, it meant spending time at my home in Sedona; leaving the house at sunrise to explore the desert trails and returning after sunset to the sound of the coyotes. And still other times, it meant enlisting my niece to join me on adventure treks to Peru and Iceland, or rock climbing challenging routes. She and I have never chosen an “easy” vacation which would probably bore us both to tears. Instead, these always take us into unknown territories that test our tenaciousness, resourcefulness, and resilience. And we always come back home refreshed, fulfilled, and more bonded. Our vacations don’t leave us exhausted. They leave us feeling more alive.
This last month, I read a book that greatly impacted me. I didn’t necessarily learn something new, but it reinforced the validity of personal beliefs and values I’ve held my entire life. The book is The Comfort Crisis: How to Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self by Michael Easter. Easter begins by taking a pulse on modern life to identify some of our most persistent problems. He tracks down experts from across the world to dive into modern studies on the prevalence and causes of afflictions and illnesses like obesity, chronic disease, and depression. In this process, he also searched for clues into how our ancestors’ less convenient and less comfortable lives impacted their physical and mental health. Through his own compelling story, as well as expert data, he provides a convincing and inspiring argument that modern life is making us soft and sad.
Why is this? We have only to look around at our modern world. Humans have an irrepressible drive to improve our conditions, and today’s world reflects it. Our lives are built around convenience and comfort. Climate-controlled homes programmed by our smartphones, Wi-Fi-enabled kitchen appliances, grocery delivery apps, on-demand television, and driver-assisted vehicles guided by digital maps of our entire planet are all meant to reduce stress and give us more time to enjoy our lives.
But what does” enjoying our lives” mean? Our quality of life in America has improved in exponential ways during the 21st century, largely thanks to technology, but there is another side to the story. Staggering rates of depression, mental illness, isolation, and what can only be described as a chasmic disconnect with the natural world plague us now more than ever and are making us less resilient, less healthy, and less happy despite all of our luxuries.
Easter challenges the status quo, contending that our constant quest for ease and immediate gratification is robbing us of the richness and depth that come from facing discomfort head-on. He shines a light on the impact of our sedentary lifestyle, addictive technologies, and reliance on quick fixes; fostering a culture that discourages embracing discomfort. By examining these areas, Easter invites us to reevaluate our relationship with comfort and explore the benefits of discomfort. Easter doesn’t advocate for a life of extreme hardship or deprivation. Instead, he proposes:
a balanced approach that involves intentionally seeking out discomfort to develop resilience, fulfillment, and personal growth. He argues that by consciously stepping out of our comfort zones, we can overcome obstacles, expand our capabilities, and discover our true potential.
There are Five Key Lessons from The Comfort Crisis:
1. Seeking comfort at all times can hinder personal growth and prevent individuals from reaching their full potential. Stepping out of comfort zones and embracing discomfort can lead to personal growth, resilience, and fulfillment.
2. Modern living, with its emphasis on convenience and comfort, has contributed to a sedentary lifestyle, mental health issues, and a lack of human connection. You have to keep moving to keep moving and be a full participant in your life.
3. The benefits of connecting with nature: Our increasingly indoor and sedentary lifestyles have disconnected us from the natural world and the potential impact this has on our overall health. Spending time in nature and using our bodies to connect with nature is an important priority for our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
4. Our constant attachment to screens and reliance on technological devices have contributed to a lack of physical activity, decreased social engagement, and increased sedentary behavior We need a more mindful and balanced approach to how and when we use technology for a healthier, more fulfilled life. Overuse is similar to other addictions and has similar negative consequences.
5. The importance of building meaningful connections: Human connection and social support is crucial for overall well-being. Excessive comfort and reliance on technology can hinder real-life, face-to-face interactions, leading to loneliness, health issues, and a lack of fulfillment. Prioritize building meaningful relationships and engaging in social activities for a longer happier life.
One final word:
We have grown used to thinking that if we feel uncomfortable, there is something wrong. I urge you to think of discomfort another way. And that other way is this. Discomfort may be a message that comes from your inner knowing and a signal of an opportunity for change and growth. Or it could just be a minor annoyance to contend with along the way of accomplishing great things. It’s not necessarily a signal to stop what you are doing.
Is your relationship with discomfort keeping you from participating fully in your life? How do you tell? Well, if you are not feeling uncomfortable or foolish, stretched, or challenged in some way regularly, you probably are not participating fully enough or moving always towards your highest potential. And that is what we are all here for; to keep moving and growing and becoming all we are meant to be.